His Provision

The reason that I started this blog, with the encouragement of a friend, was because I had become so discouraged that I lost faith in God and His power. Believe me, it was not a pretty place to be and I never want to go there again. God is good, all of the time!

For some time I have been seeking the Lord in a few areas of my life, and quite frankly, It has been discouraging to me when I constantly hear wait..wait for the Lord...strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord. The other day I was humbled once again by the Lord. I was fasting and praying and I heard Him say to read John 6 and so I did. It is the story where Jesus feeds the 5000 by turning 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish into enough for 5000 people plus 12 baskets full of leftovers.  Wow!

So my thoughts and impressions were that Jesus saw the multitude of people coming and He already had a plan, He knew that He was able to provide their need to be fed, all 5000 of them. Already knowing this Jesus asked His disciple Philip where they could get food to feed the multitude of people, but I think that Philip answered incorrectly when he said that  “Two hundred denarii worth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may have a little.”

It seems to me that Philip could only see the problem and solution through his human, earthly understanding and it gives me comfort to think that Philip was a disciple of Jesus, walking side by side with the Lord in His ministry, and he did not consider or turn to Jesus and ask how He, the Savior was going to provide the money or the bread to feed the people.  Jesus did not condemn or criticize Philip for his lack of understanding but instead He displayed His patience, His power, His ability to provide, His generosity, and His abundance.

So why do I doubt Jesus' provision over my life? I think that it is because I lack an understanding of who He really is and what He can really do. I, like Philip, tend to see the vastness of the problem and forget that I have the solution standing right by my side, and it is not me. So I am encouraged to be reminded by Jesus that He is the bread of life, and that He already has a plan for the areas of my life that I may have been discouraged or struggling in. I am blessed to know on a deeper level that Jesus is more than able to provide and that does give me strength to continue seeking His face and waiting for His perfect timing in all things.

 

Cry Out To Jesus

Last night I watched a movie called "The diary of a mad black woman". There was a scene where the husband comes home with his mistress to tell his wife of eighteen years that her things are packed up in a u-haul and that she needed to get out of his house because the mistress was moving in. 

The wife was stunned and refused to leave, there was a scuffle, somehow she ended up on the floor kicking and screaming and the husband dragged her across the floor and threw her out of the house, locking the door behind her. She knocked and cried out her husbands name, but he did not open the door or respond to her cry. The door remained closed and locked.

What a heart wrenching scene, to think that somebody could be that cruel, but the truth is that it happens everyday. People walk out on each other emotionally, physically, spiritually, all of the time. I am not just talking about marriages but families and friendships as well. The thing that was impressed upon my heart the most was the fact that God will never drag us out of His house and lock the door on us. And if you do feel like you are on the outside of God's house then may I encourage you with these scriptures?

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Luke 11:10

For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

All of Your commandments are faithful

Psalm 119: 92-94

Unless Your law had been my delight,

I would then have perished in my affliction.
I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have given me life.
I am Yours, save me; For I have sought Your precepts.

This morning I was reminded of the importance of God's law in my life. I reflected that before I began to study His word I was living a lifestyle that did not look anything like the life spoken of in the word and it was killing me both physically, emotionally and spiritually. As I began to study the word, I began to see that I was a "law breaker" and that I needed to be saved because as hard as I tried, I could not save myself. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am reflecting His image currently, but when I look back I do see that He has changed my heart, my thoughts and my lifestyle quite radically. I still get a little confused about the issue of legalism vs grace and wonder if I might sometimes use grace as an excuse to continue in a sinful behavior, but I do know that the Lord is not through teaching me and I am trying to stay humble enough to listen and obey when He speaks.

Yesterday I was reminded to ask the Lord who He is and what He has to say to me today and this is what He said to me when I took the time to ask.

• His merciful kindness can be for my comfort
• His tender mercies bring me life
• His statutes are my songs
• His judgments are righteous
• He teaches good judgment and knowledge
• He is good and does good
• He teaches His statutes
• The law of His mouth is better than thousands of coins of silver and gold
• His hands made and fashioned me
• He gives understanding that I may learn His commandments
• He is my salvation
• His word brings me hope
• His commandments are faithful