Murky Waters

So life has taken over and serving others takes time away from blog postings, so if anybody actually looks at this blog...sorry that I don't write anymore. Forget about finding time to Facebook, how do you people do it? Anyway, a friend encouraged me to do this blog and at the time I thought it was pretty cool but now I just don't feel like I am that interesting.
God is interesting though. Today I had one of those days where the p.m.s. was beginning to rage within me, the pit of sadness was causing a lump in my throat as I tried to choke back the tears. I finally lost it when someone actually took the time to look into my eyes and saw the pain that I was in and then took the time to sit and to talk and to pray with me. Surprisingly, that doesn't happen for me very often at church. It seems to me that when people ask me how I am doing they really aren't that interested in the real answer.

I remember one time I was in one of those deep pits of sadness that I get and someone came up and asked me how I was doing. I told her that I wasn't doing that great and she put a big smile on her face and said that's great and walked away! Hello! Did you hear what I said? Do you care what I said? What's the deal?
God has an interesting way of teaching me how to depend on Him and not people. I tell you that it is hard because I can look and see people. I can hear them, I can touch them, I can feel them and I even smell them (sometimes I wish that I couldn't). Unfortunately I don't always have my senses in line with God and today was one of them.

So, I pulled out my guitar and cried out to Him. I told Him how desperate I was for Him. How I couldn't dig myself out of this pit that I had fallen into. How I didn't want to do what I had to do. How I couldn't do it without Him and how I wanted to glorify Him in the things that I do. How my spirit is dead without Him. How I am like dry bones, a walking dead woman when He turns His face from me. I told Him how much I love Him and how He created me and everything that I see, feel, taste, hear and smell.
After all was sung and done, I had joy. I had a heart filled with wonder and awe. A heart filled with praise for my Lord. The right kind heart. Even as the pain began to stab and to jab me, He was with me, quieting me with His love and then He gave me this sweet word to encourage me some more when I got home.

Zephaniah 3:16-17
“ Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak. The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”