Encouragement for your calling

I just wanted to share some cool things that ministered to my heart during last weeks teaching on the book of Nehemiah, chapter 6.

As they were about to finish the work, the enemy came to do them harm The Lord gave discernment to know the trickery and deception of the enemy.

Be confident and do not leave the work that the Lord has put before you!

Resist temptation to be distracted or pulled away from what God has called you to do!

Be clear on what God has called you to do and do it!

Don’t come down from it!

Say no to things outside of your calling and yes to the things inside of your calling.

Don’t believe the lies and don’t let the liars (accusers) drag you down with them to their level.

We can’t govern our own tongues so we can’t expect to govern the tongues of others.

Say less, pray more, love more and forgive more.

Press forward in your calling!

You are a leader! Lead them to the cross!

Watch out for false prophets and prophesies that will cause you to doubt God. Would God tell you things that contradict what He has already spoken to you? No!

Trust God, not in circumstances or in people.

Recognize and acknowledge the triumph in your life!

Praise God for what He is doing!

He will rebuild!

He will restore!

He will finish what He has begun!

Don’t sell the Lord short.

Give God Glory!

Worship your King!

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes!

I once had a friend who quoted this to me all of the time, "If nothing changes, nothing changes!" To be honest it used to drive me crazy when she would say this to me because the truth is that change for me is frightening and even if the rut I am stuck in is uncomfortable, at least it is a familiar discomfort.

So now I find myself in a place of change. A place where the Lord has asked me to leave my comfort zone, my busyness, and to be still and truly let Him inside to heal the brokenness inside of my heart. A time to let Him pull up the deep roots that have entangled my heart for so long.

I love the Lord so much, and it bothers me that I seem to always end up back in the wilderness, grumbling, complaining and murmuring about one thing or another. It blows my mind that I am this way because I know how good God is and how much He has given for me to have life and to have it so abundantly. In reality, I have everything that I need and more but there is always one thing or another that seems to be lacking or unfulfilled and this is the snare that catches my foot and pulls me back in to the stronghold of doubt in His faithfulness to fulfill His promises to me.

As I read Psalm 33 this morning I felt led to pray it back to God and thought that it might minister to someone's heart as it has to mine. May God bless you and keep you close to His heart.

Dear Lord,

You formed my heart and You consider all I do. I can not be saved or escape anything by my own strength. My hope for deliverance can only be found in You. Your eyes are on those who fear You, on those whose hope is in Your unfailing love, to deliver them from death and to keep them alive in famine. I wait in hope for You Lord; You are my help and shield. In You my heart rejoices, for I trust in Your holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon me, O Lord, even as I put my hope in You.

Murky Waters

So life has taken over and serving others takes time away from blog postings, so if anybody actually looks at this blog...sorry that I don't write anymore. Forget about finding time to Facebook, how do you people do it? Anyway, a friend encouraged me to do this blog and at the time I thought it was pretty cool but now I just don't feel like I am that interesting.
God is interesting though. Today I had one of those days where the p.m.s. was beginning to rage within me, the pit of sadness was causing a lump in my throat as I tried to choke back the tears. I finally lost it when someone actually took the time to look into my eyes and saw the pain that I was in and then took the time to sit and to talk and to pray with me. Surprisingly, that doesn't happen for me very often at church. It seems to me that when people ask me how I am doing they really aren't that interested in the real answer.

I remember one time I was in one of those deep pits of sadness that I get and someone came up and asked me how I was doing. I told her that I wasn't doing that great and she put a big smile on her face and said that's great and walked away! Hello! Did you hear what I said? Do you care what I said? What's the deal?
God has an interesting way of teaching me how to depend on Him and not people. I tell you that it is hard because I can look and see people. I can hear them, I can touch them, I can feel them and I even smell them (sometimes I wish that I couldn't). Unfortunately I don't always have my senses in line with God and today was one of them.

So, I pulled out my guitar and cried out to Him. I told Him how desperate I was for Him. How I couldn't dig myself out of this pit that I had fallen into. How I didn't want to do what I had to do. How I couldn't do it without Him and how I wanted to glorify Him in the things that I do. How my spirit is dead without Him. How I am like dry bones, a walking dead woman when He turns His face from me. I told Him how much I love Him and how He created me and everything that I see, feel, taste, hear and smell.
After all was sung and done, I had joy. I had a heart filled with wonder and awe. A heart filled with praise for my Lord. The right kind heart. Even as the pain began to stab and to jab me, He was with me, quieting me with His love and then He gave me this sweet word to encourage me some more when I got home.

Zephaniah 3:16-17
“ Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak. The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

I Walk By Faith

Walking by faith is not always an easy thing for me to do. I confess that I am a bit of a control freak. Fortunately, I am slowly coming to realize that it really does not pay off when I try pull the strings instead of trusting God to accomplish His plan and His will for my life.
So I am stepping out in faith and putting a recording of me playing the guitar and singing the song "I walk by faith" with the hope of perhaps overcoming this horrible fear of playing my guitar in front of people. Someday, soon, I would like to use the gift that the Lord has given me, but at this point my confidence is in my own flesh and that is a frightening place to be.

Christian the Lion

A friend asked me to find something for her on You Tube called "Christian the Lion". I found it and thought that I would put it on the blog because it is really sweet. Also, the Lord has been speaking to me about the importance of Love and I am really trying to listen and pay attention to what He is saying to me. 

I think this is another sweet reminder of how important it is to obey God's command "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” This story shows me that love is lasting and powerful even in the animal kingdom. 

May we never forget that God loves us more than the animals and that His love for us is everlasting, eternal.

A reflection of things to come.

Last summer, I went on a trip to Kauai, Hawaii with a friend and her family. It was an amazing time with the Lord, and it felt like I was on a honeymoon with Jesus. It was the first trip, in a long time where I had no agenda, no itinerary, and no scheduled plan of events. All I wanted to do was lay in the sun and rest and be refreshed. 

Recently, I was reminded about a vision that I had while laying at the pool one day in Kauai, and I thought that I would share it on this blog to remind myself of the faithfulness of God and to possibly encourage someone with my testimony.

I wrote this letter to a friend who had given me a note of encouragement and as I read her encouragement I realized that it was a direct word of confirmation to me from my Husband, my Savior, my Friend, my Jesus. 

And it goes a little something like this...
You said in your letter to me “My heart was blessed by the work of God in your life. All of the sudden I saw what a beautiful bride you are. The presence of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit shine through you”. I thought "Wow! When I look at me, I see evil thoughts, I see a critical nature, and I see a wicked heart. I don’t see the bride, all dressed in white, that's for sure"…
So here is the Kauai story that I shared with my friend in response to her encouragement. This is a true story and no I wasn't drunk, hung-over, or on any mind altering chemicals. LOL
One day, while I was lounging in the sun in Kauai, I was reading the book Pilgrims Progress. Have you read it? There is a part in the story when Christiana, a new pilgrim, and her family have just been attacked, but were rescued by their guide Mr. Goodheart. After the battle they arrive at their destination only to be told by Mr. Goodheart that he would not accompany them further from this point. When asked why not, he replied that she had not asked his master for a guide and protector for the complete journey, and if she had asked, she would have received.
This made me kind of sad and I began to think that I had never looked at having a husband as a spiritual guide and protector in that way before. I know that the Lord is all of this to me and so much more, and I struggle with the thoughts of “is this desire to have a husband an idol in my life or did the Lord put it there”, so sometimes I lose faith and get discouraged because I want what I want and I want it now and when I don't get it I throw a fit! One day I want a husband, one day I don’t, and quite often I don't really know what I want so I get even more confused. 

I decided that I had better go to the Lord in prayer and so I asked Him that if it was His will that He would send a guide and protector into my life and that I would be willing to receive his love. I also confessed the desire to honor and to serve him as a bride should.
A little while later, maybe it was heat stroke-ha-ha-ha, I began gazing at the billowing clouds and suddenly the form of a bride appeared, dressed in a beautiful and flowing white gown, slowly the wind moved the clouds into a new image of a bride in a completely different wedding gown, just as beautiful as the first but this one had a satin sash around the waist just below the bosom and the bride was holding a bouquet. I was in awe! I was praising Him the whole time, saying, Lord, You are amazing! This is so cool!!!
Next, the image of the bride turned sideways into a profile and as it was being formed I began to see my profile, my image. No way, Lord! How did You do that? You are amazing! And then another image began to take shape directly behind my profile. Back to back was the profile of the Bridegroom and Bride. Did I recognize his face, no. Was it the Lord? Was it my future husband? 
So this image floats away into the blue sky, and I am moved deeply by the experience and I am longing to see His face. I cry out to Him and ask Him if He would show Himself to me. Lord, this may sound silly but You are God, will You show me your face in the clouds? Soon a little puff of a cloud appears and it turns into an angel who has wings and a trumpet, announcing the arrival of the King, and with the next cloud there sits the Lord, on His throne, sitting ever so humbly, gently, patiently, lovingly, tenderly inviting, offering a place to sit, to rest and to relax. And I see yet another cloud image, and it’s that of a girl, dressed in a simple white gown, arms outstretched to the sky, but legs leaping away from the throne and from His lap.

I knew that the little girl was me and my heart broke at the bittersweet thought of seeing myself jumping away from Him with my arms outstretched. Doing things my way, going ahead of Him, but reaching out for Him; (no wonder I’m confused☺) trying to be the judge, jury and author of mine and other people’s lives and relationships with God; not loving as He loves; losing faith through selfish unfulfilled desires; being discouraged by peoples words and my interpretation of those words; allowing the truth to be confused with the lies in my mind. The adversary walks about like a roaring lion...

Seeing His love for me in a whole new realm, is a little out of my comfort zone, so my prayer is that I would learn to slow down and sit in His lap. I am tired of running away from His love, and pray that I would continue to be able to receive it as He reveals it. As I begin to see and accept the reality that I am His bride, I pray for His love to be made real within my heart, and that no doubt would come between us. It is my hearts prayer to understand His grace and mercy for me, and how to extend that grace and mercy to those that He ministers to through this life that He has given to me.

In closing, it is funny that as I read this again, many months later, I look back and wonder how could I have forgotten that vision so easily? How could I have run away from Him, if only for a night, so quickly? How could I have forgotten my own prayer to Him? How could I have allowed myself to believe all the lies from the adversary? 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind, but now I see.

Friends Forever?

Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I have a new roommate and this is a picture of our cats actually getting along for a short period of time. Occasionally there are sweet moments between the two of them, but the moments are very brief.

Sadly, it is my cat who has to be the "Alpha Cat" and she gets all bent out of shape over the very presence and existence of this new critter that is intruding on her territory. I entered the house last week and my cat was on top of the coffee table growling, hissing and her tail was twitching up a storm. Then I look at the couch and see the roommates cat laying on his back, spread eagle and snoring like a baby without a care in the world.

This scene made me think and ponder on forgiveness and how when I am not willing to forgive someone it usually makes me just like my cat...mean, cranky, annoyed, angry, and growling. Sometimes I even bite and scratch. The funny thing is the offender, the person that I am not willing to forgive is usually just like the roommate's cat, clueless and unaware that they have even offended me.

The moral of the story...Get over it!

He is our help and shield

Honestly, I am a little critical when it comes to movies. I usually will save myself the expense of going to a theater and wait until it comes out on video so that I can turn it off if it is too unbearable to watch. Tonight I watched a movie called "The Secret Lives of Bees". I am not saying that this movie was unbearable, because overall it was an okay movie and it had all the components that make a decent movie, but for me what is always missing in these movies is the truth, Jesus. 

The movie grieved my heart, and maybe God's also, because the faith expressed in the movie was faith in a god that brought a wooden statue of a "black" mother Mary, whom, tradition stated, was sent to give love, strength, hope and courage to the slaves. Throughout the movie, the characters are bowing down in front of this statue to pray, they are gathering together to worship before her, and they are reaching out to touch her heart so that they may be filled with her love.  

One of the characters was a bit of an emotional wreck, and it was said that she carried the "weight of the world" on her shoulders. She built a stone wall and placed these weights on little pieces of papers and wedged them between the cracks in the rocks like they do at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, Israel. (If you haven't seen the movie and you want to see this movie read the rest of this later, because I am going to give something away.) Well, this character ends up killing herself and leaves a note on the wall for her sisters that she will be with her deceased family members and that she will be in a better place than she was before.

The questions and thoughts that this scene left in my mind were, "Where is she going now that she is dead? There was no mention or explanation of eternity, heaven or hell, nothing. What god was she following that would send a wooden statue that can't walk, talk, eat or even breathe for that matter to give love? I thought that her statue was pretty weak and could not handle taking the "weight of the world" upon her wooden shoulders, but the Bible says that Jesus took it and will take all of that weight off our backs if we go to Him and call on His name. Oh yeah, and where was all the love that this statue was supposed to fill these people with? After all was said and done, the character killed herself, but the Bible says that God's love is unfailing.

This statue, or any statue, can never do what the God of the Bible, the one that the Psalmist speaks of in Psalm 33 can and will do for us when we put our faith in Him. I know this personally, because He saved me from an attempted suicide and I could not deny the fact that He answered a direct cry for help from me to Him.

Psalm 33:12-22

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth- he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Amen

His Provision

The reason that I started this blog, with the encouragement of a friend, was because I had become so discouraged that I lost faith in God and His power. Believe me, it was not a pretty place to be and I never want to go there again. God is good, all of the time!

For some time I have been seeking the Lord in a few areas of my life, and quite frankly, It has been discouraging to me when I constantly hear wait..wait for the Lord...strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord. The other day I was humbled once again by the Lord. I was fasting and praying and I heard Him say to read John 6 and so I did. It is the story where Jesus feeds the 5000 by turning 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish into enough for 5000 people plus 12 baskets full of leftovers.  Wow!

So my thoughts and impressions were that Jesus saw the multitude of people coming and He already had a plan, He knew that He was able to provide their need to be fed, all 5000 of them. Already knowing this Jesus asked His disciple Philip where they could get food to feed the multitude of people, but I think that Philip answered incorrectly when he said that  “Two hundred denarii worth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may have a little.”

It seems to me that Philip could only see the problem and solution through his human, earthly understanding and it gives me comfort to think that Philip was a disciple of Jesus, walking side by side with the Lord in His ministry, and he did not consider or turn to Jesus and ask how He, the Savior was going to provide the money or the bread to feed the people.  Jesus did not condemn or criticize Philip for his lack of understanding but instead He displayed His patience, His power, His ability to provide, His generosity, and His abundance.

So why do I doubt Jesus' provision over my life? I think that it is because I lack an understanding of who He really is and what He can really do. I, like Philip, tend to see the vastness of the problem and forget that I have the solution standing right by my side, and it is not me. So I am encouraged to be reminded by Jesus that He is the bread of life, and that He already has a plan for the areas of my life that I may have been discouraged or struggling in. I am blessed to know on a deeper level that Jesus is more than able to provide and that does give me strength to continue seeking His face and waiting for His perfect timing in all things.

 

Cry Out To Jesus

Last night I watched a movie called "The diary of a mad black woman". There was a scene where the husband comes home with his mistress to tell his wife of eighteen years that her things are packed up in a u-haul and that she needed to get out of his house because the mistress was moving in. 

The wife was stunned and refused to leave, there was a scuffle, somehow she ended up on the floor kicking and screaming and the husband dragged her across the floor and threw her out of the house, locking the door behind her. She knocked and cried out her husbands name, but he did not open the door or respond to her cry. The door remained closed and locked.

What a heart wrenching scene, to think that somebody could be that cruel, but the truth is that it happens everyday. People walk out on each other emotionally, physically, spiritually, all of the time. I am not just talking about marriages but families and friendships as well. The thing that was impressed upon my heart the most was the fact that God will never drag us out of His house and lock the door on us. And if you do feel like you are on the outside of God's house then may I encourage you with these scriptures?

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Luke 11:10

For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

All of Your commandments are faithful

Psalm 119: 92-94

Unless Your law had been my delight,

I would then have perished in my affliction.
I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have given me life.
I am Yours, save me; For I have sought Your precepts.

This morning I was reminded of the importance of God's law in my life. I reflected that before I began to study His word I was living a lifestyle that did not look anything like the life spoken of in the word and it was killing me both physically, emotionally and spiritually. As I began to study the word, I began to see that I was a "law breaker" and that I needed to be saved because as hard as I tried, I could not save myself. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am reflecting His image currently, but when I look back I do see that He has changed my heart, my thoughts and my lifestyle quite radically. I still get a little confused about the issue of legalism vs grace and wonder if I might sometimes use grace as an excuse to continue in a sinful behavior, but I do know that the Lord is not through teaching me and I am trying to stay humble enough to listen and obey when He speaks.

Yesterday I was reminded to ask the Lord who He is and what He has to say to me today and this is what He said to me when I took the time to ask.

• His merciful kindness can be for my comfort
• His tender mercies bring me life
• His statutes are my songs
• His judgments are righteous
• He teaches good judgment and knowledge
• He is good and does good
• He teaches His statutes
• The law of His mouth is better than thousands of coins of silver and gold
• His hands made and fashioned me
• He gives understanding that I may learn His commandments
• He is my salvation
• His word brings me hope
• His commandments are faithful